A Christian and Godly Husband:
- First and foremost, must be the husband of one wife, not wives—for in the beginning, God made one male and one female (Genesis 1:26-28) and joined them together as husband and wife, not husband and wives (Genesis 2:18, 21-25). If God had intended more than one wife for the man Adam, He would have created more wives for him. The same would be true of more husbands for the woman, Eve (cf. Matthew 19:1-10; see also 1 Timothy 3:2; Titus 1:6).
- He remains faithful to his wife in a lifelong commitment to her (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). He is not to put away or divorce his wife for any reason other than her unfaithfulness or sexual immorality (Matthew 5:31-32). The marriage relationship is to be seen as a permanent one, not to be dissolved by either husband or wife.
- He meets his wife’s natural sexual needs (cf. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5). He does not withhold himself sexually from his wife but fulfills her sexual needs and desires—except with consent for a time, that they may give themselves to fasting and prayer—which would help to strengthen them against the temptation of having sex outside of marriage.
- He loves his wife as much as he loves himself, and just as Christ loves His Church (Ephesians 5:25-30). He should be willing to sacrifice everything for his wife, make her well-being of primary importance, and care for her as he cares for his own body.
- He joins with his wife in total and complete unity (Ephesians 5:31). He is “one” with his wife: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24; see also Matthew 19:4-6).
- He treats his wife kindly and not be bitter or harsh toward her (Colossians 3:19). In other words, he does not use his position as a man to mistreat his wife or demonstrate toward her the same unselfish spirit as Christian citizens (see 1 Peter 2:13-17).
- He trusts his wife (Proverbs 31:11) because of her excellence, moral worth, ability, and nobility, not just marital fidelity. As trust is an essential ingredient in marriage, so the husband relies on his wife’s prudence and skill (Proverbs 31:12-31).
- He sanctifies his wife—if she is an unbeliever (1 Corinthians 7:14). God regards this marriage as “holy” provided the couple stays together and remains in the teachings of God. The Christian husband, now blessed by God, includes his wife in the promised blessings of the covenant as they overflow to the unbeliever. The reason for these couples to stay together (1 Corinthians 7:13) is because the Christian husband brings holiness to the marriage.
- He protects his wife (Ruth 1:9). Although women’s lives may be easier today, but if unprotected by men, they are still vulnerable to criminal attacks, family abuses, and financial disaster. Thus, with marriage came security for a woman.
- He teaches his wife the way of God (1 Corinthians 14:34, 35). As the spiritual head of his wife, the husband has authority over her as Christ has authority over His Church (see Ephesians 5:22-26). One of his first priorities, therefore, is to make sure his wife has a good relationship with God. The husband is to encourage his wife’s spiritual growth, recognizing that it affects her personal happiness as a woman, wife, and mother. Here we see the principle of subjection of wives to husbands.
- He provides for the material needs of his wife (1 Timothy 5:8). For a Christian husband to default on the basic care and support of his wife is the same as denying the faith. There is no way he can claim love and allegiance to the Lord and at the same time neglect his wife whom God has given him as a gift. In other words, any believing husband who neglects the most basic human responsibilities has, for all practical purposes, denied what he believes. To do so makes him worse than an unbeliever, for even an unbelieving idol-worshiper or husband understands the responsibility of caring for a wife’s needs. Thus, a Christian husband does his part to meet the needs of his wife.
- He lives joyfully with his wife (Ecclesiastes 9:9) whom God has given him—for “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure and receives favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). How sad it would be for anyone to be married and not appreciate or enjoy the companion God has given him or her. Because the future is so uncertain, the Christian husband should enjoy his wife, while he is able.
- He befriends his wife. This is a huge part of marriage (see Song of Solomon 5:16). A Christian husband knows that friendship within the marriage is vital for the relationship. So he spends quality time together with his wife, having fun, and getting to know her better. Love is more than just kisses and hugs; it is also about loyalty, honesty, and respect.
- He praises his wife (Proverbs 31:28). This is an appreciation or an appropriate response to an excellent wife—a sincere praise! The key to the character of this worthy wife is found in the fact that she “fears the Lord” (Proverbs 31:30; cf. 1:7), and her husband appreciates that.
- He treats his wife with consideration and respect (1 Peter 3:7), so that his prayers will not be hindered, but heard by the Lord. This is absolutely necessary, because the husband’s living relationship with God depends not only on his right relationships with others, but particularly with his wife. In other words, his spiritual relationship with God is directly affected by the way he treats his wife. Thus, he should be intimately aware of his wife’s needs, her strengths and weaknesses, and her goals and desires. He should dwell with her with understanding, giving honor to her because she deserves honor. Obviously, a man who honors his wife as a member of the weaker sex will protect, respect, help, and stay with her. He will not expect her to work full-time outside the home and full-time at home also; he will lighten her load wherever he can. He will be sensitive to her needs, and he will relate to her with courtesy, consideration, insight, and tact.
- Overall, he loves his wife, joins with her in total and complete unity, honors her, treats her kindly and with respect, trusts her, befriends her, praises her, sanctifies her, protects her, provides for her, teaches her, remains faithful to her in a lifelong commitment, and enjoys life with her.
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